Do Cheesy Pick Up Lines Really Work? The 411 You Need to Know Before Blowing Your Chances

So you are heading out for a night of fun and partying with your friends and pretty set on making a connection before the night is out. You watch a few of your friends hook up with old flames, co-workers, etc - and you are left in the corner just holding your bottle of beer. Not being one brimming with overconfidence when it comes to approaching women cold in a bar setting, you slowly start to mentally recite all of those old, ingrained cheesy pickup lines silently searching for the right one……

Sound familiar? Well - if it does, don't worry, you aren't alone! Most women have heard every bad, corny cheesy pickup line invented since the original caveman uttered - "come here often" to whoever it was that caveman hit on back in the good old days.:-) But are they used so much because they work, or not? The answer WILL NOT surprise you.

Cheesy pick up lines work. But only on cheesy women! How high your standards are is a better question! Look, if you approach a group of girls and throw out a few self depreciating lines straight out of a bad pick up movie, yes we are going to laugh WITH you, not at you. Everyone understands breaking the ice is not easy. But if you come sauntering over with that come hither stare, no matter how attractive you may be - if the first words out of your mouth are obnoxious and cliché, guess what? You aren't going to be making any major moves on me or my friends, I'll tell you that! Might that work on the girl hanging on the bar at 2 AM when they are mopping the floor? Probably. But while you rehearse the bad lines, guys without half of your attractiveness and ambition are getting much further using simple friendly charm and sincerity.

The bottom line is if you are going to use a cheesy pick up line, make it funny, have fun with it and be able to laugh at yourself when you make the approach. Even the oldest line in the book coming from someone who doesn't take himself too seriously and can laugh at the awkwardness of meeting new people will appear charming, charismatic and generally the kind of person we want to get to know better. And that is the point of using it in the first place, right? Right..:-)

One of the toughest things to navigate well in the challenging online dating marketplace is to come up with a good opening line. They say first impressions mean everything, right? With this in mind, it certainly seems like you better start off strong if you've got any hope at all of getting a response! And remember, the likelihood is, if you found the person you want to write attractive, there are probably a bunch of other people who have as well! Let's look at a few really good ideas that work well for, and on me!

1) Be Sincere. Whatever you do, don't send a form letter responses that sounds like you cut and pasted the exact same template to 63 other profiles you've found attractive. Trust me, even if she likes you, the perceived slight will be enough NOT to generate a response.

2) Be Specific. Very important! As the natural opposite of sending out a bulk email to every attractive person you see, VERY specific opening lines are sure winners! Why? It shows you read the persons profile. If you start out with something that says - "hey, not only did I READ what you had to say, I also share the exact same feeling as you on "xyz". This is doubly smart - you show common interest and of course, that you were interested enough to read the whole thing. ( Another secret tip? Make that thing you "notice" at the END of the profile, further reinforcing you were CAPTIVATED for the full 2000 words..;-)

3) Be Gentle. Yes, even if you think she might like it rough! Do not start out with some borderline obscene, outlandish commentary on her outfit in picture number 4, or make reference to some thinly veiled she MAY have made about something of a more intimate nature….Just yet! More guys than they will EVER know have completely blown their chances with a totally HOT woman on account of this one simple social fop a - bad manners and bad timing to show them off!

Remember, she is online dating for the very same reason you are. To have fun, meet some cool people and finally find a great guy like you - I promise!

Ok, guys. So you've got a REALLY hot woman on your mind, huh? You are probably thinking she has no idea who you are, or if she does - that you feel the way that you do, right? Well, I'm here to tell you that you are WRONG on both counts! Most beautiful women have a really acute awareness of all the cute guys around, and while she may not be interested in you ( yet..:-), don't for a split second think she doesn't know you are around - EVEN if she never says hi or looks your way. Let's work to change that, starting right now. If I've said this once, I've said it 100 times, but this one simply works, and does it in SHORT order. Let's say you've got a beautiful woman at the office that you just cant' stop thinking about, ok? Or - in your apartment complex. Chances are, LOTS of other guys are thinking about her too.

Here is what I want you to do…

First of all, go out and buy a few classic novels, or books on philosophy - stuff that NO ONE else is reading. It would be ideal if you would read them, but of course it not even 100% necessary as long as you get the cliff notes idea of what they are about. ( Don't worry, she won't know a THING about the book anyway - so you can always fake it if you have to). Then I want you to start opening up and being more FRIENDLY and approachable. The key to this strategy is approachability, in combination with radiating an air of MYSTERY - which you don't need to read here is just about the most appealing quality in a man like you. You need to be around her a lot - and be friendly but just a WEE bit standoffish, and always seem engaged in your reading. If it's an office environment, have the book in a prominent place on your desk. Eastern Philosophy is a perennial favorite, as are some of the French philosophers.

Take a look at some pictures of the 60's flower power movement. What do you see in almost all of the pics? Exactly - one striking beautiful woman after the next. Think these women were going home with the football player types? Think again. Of course there is a lot more to this than just this simple addition to your arsenal. But this very simple, and very easy "accessory" in combination with a friendly demeanor will make you FAR more intriguing and curious to the beautiful woman that you've got your eye on….I promise!

Let me give you guys yet another "inside secret" when it comes to making YOUR woman melt at the mere thought of your smiling face….You've got to learn how to make her cry before you can really call her yours. And no, I'm not talking about crying tears of hurt, pain or anguish, but rather…tears of complete and utter joy at being lucky enough to have you in her life! It's interesting because I spent a few minutes reading some of the other "articles" being written by other guys on keeping your woman happy and yearning for you, and most of them have some sort of over simplified rudimentary understanding of the female brain, that quite frankly - is way off!

You see, fundamentally, women are far simpler when it comes to finding happiness in a relationship. Sure we want nice things, and yes - I know some women are money hungry, gold digging and opportunistic, but really - and I mean this totally sincerely, this is a VERY small part of the female population. I think women are MUCH more complicated that our male counterparts - but when it comes to love, we are actually, by and large, quite simple.

We want you to be able to make us cry with the gratitude of finding true love. We want to feel comfortable, safe and happy in your arms. We want to know that in this uncertain world, with all of the things that are up to fate, circumstance and chance, the things that are unshakably true are those that you bring to our lives. Yes, we want you to be our rock, and for 98 out of 100 women, this has nothing to do with the size diamond you can buy your girl.

So yes, there are ALL kinds of different techniques you can learn to pick up just about ANY beautiful woman you want. I know because I write and help guys like you with some of them. But at the end of the day, with all of that aside, and in celebration of the holiday season, just learn how to make your girl cry - and with her happy tears streaming down her face, you will learn the REAL secret of getting everything you want with the woman in your life today. I promise..:-)

It's absolutely amazing me to me that with so many hot, available single men and women out there, there are still people who write to me complaining that they can't meet any quality people to date! I say - if this is the case with you, it's YOUR problem, not one of there not being enough good people out there. But hey, if you are out of college, and don't work in a place with lots of available mates (or can't date at work) you still have TONS of choices. Here are a few good ones that I know my amazingly wonderful female friends go and hang out - and I'm sure would love to meet a guy like you!

1) Got a dog? Hey - why not borrow one if you don't! The dog park is the absolute best "secret" spot to meet and hook up with a beautiful woman! A woman who loves her dog is in nesting mode….She'd rather be home with the pooch on a Friday night than out hitting the clubs with the lines, and the noise….She just needs a good guy to hang with. Hey - if you're not a dog lover you probably don't get it, but if you are - you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about and know that I'm right! Dog parks are a great place to get to know another person - and equally as important, you've got to make sure you're puppies get along too - after all, you're going to be double dating!

2) The supermarket. Same thing, boys! It's a great place to meet a woman. Nesting mode factor works here too. A woman who is single, and cooking for herself, silently LONGS for a man to cook with, and for. It's low defense mechanism territory too, we're not nearly as guarded as we get in a club on a weekend night - it's an easy time to approach, be friendly and make a date!

3) Online dating. Ok, everyone is FINALLY getting on board with this one. Online dating is becoming the MOST popular way to meet a man (or for you - a woman!) It is like being a little girl in a candy store…so many cute guys, so many good choices….I met MY boyfriend on line, and joining up on a slow and lonely Saturday night was the best decision I've made in a long time! If you are spending your weekends alone, guess what? You are only a few short mouse clicks away from turning it all around..:-)

So remember, life is short - and being in love is phenomenal. If you aren't in a relationship now, or at least having a lot of fun trying, what are you waiting for!

Alright guys. Most of you probably have a long list of favorite lines you like to use when you see a woman you are interested in getting to know better. If I'm going to play amateur psychic I'll say that while they make work ONCE in a while - for the most part you find yourself striking out and going home alone.

Let me fill you in on a little secret. We are NOT as dumb as you think! We've seen the same movies, read the same books and heard all of the same lines as you have! So we know them all, the only difference is in the delivery and the messenger. If you've got it going on, even if it's a cheesy pick up line, it's bound to get a little bit of interest. But here is the problem. So many guys just fail SO miserably when trying to look cool and shoot off a rehearsed, regurgitated line from "Swingers" that even if you ARE really cute, we are going to look silly if we go for it. Herein lays life's great dilemma…

Seriously though guys. Just keep ALL of your best lines light and funny. The days of the serious "come here often" sort of approach just doesn't' work anymore with women today (or at least me and my friends). Funny works like nothing else. If you can laugh at yourself while coming up to us…well, that's REALLY appealing as well. One of my best friends met her husband about two years ago when he approached her at a trade show and said - "what do I have to pretend to be interested in buying to get your phone number". Cheesy? Absolutely! Funny? In a geeky way, I guess it was because after all, she not only laughed and gave him her digits, she MARRIED him 8 months later! Good luck!

Okay boys and girls, here comes the big question NO one likes to ask themselves when it comes to their romantic talents - are you, or are you NOT a good kisser? It's funny how many people will ask me questions in my column about all kinds of lovemaking techniques, will share the most intimate personal details and expose just about EVERY other kind of insecurity they may have, but they NEVER ask about the most basic one - KISSING!

Every woman who is honest will tell you that there is NO bigger turnoff - I don't care how good looking the guy is or how much you may like him….If he can't kiss, there is no future! And while some of my guy friends have expressed the same sentiments about THEIR girlfriends, my sense is that guys make OTHER things more important than this if you know what I mean..:-)

Not sure if you are a good kisser? As a woman, I'll tell you straight away: If your girlfriend or significant other doesn't want to kiss often, you better start to worry because women just LOVE to kiss! And I dare you to find me one who doesn't. So if you are just getting started on the kissing path dear boy - here is what you best not do:

1) Unless you BOTH have had way too much New Year's bubbly….Slow down and relax! Don't attack her guys - be passionate, but you don't want to knock her down, at least not yet!

2) Unless you are planning on becoming an oral surgeon and need someone to do exploratory practice on - you don't need to show her your tongue is as long as Gene Simmons is! This is a huge rookie mistake, and while you may get another chance to score - you've already got at LEAST one strike against you if you give her a mouth mugging.

There is NOTHING more romantic, sensual and exciting then a man who loves to kiss and does it well. So make sure you know what you're doing, even if it means practicing on a pillow ahead of the big moment! Have fun!

In this article we are going to take a closer look at the simple things YOU can do to get the love of your life BACK in your world, even when things look hopeless. So if you are in this uncomfortable spot, read on for relief..

Let's be honest: EVERYONE has had their heart broken at one point or another. There is really no feeling that is worse than being in love with someone who has left, or moved on or simply seems to have lost the luster for you and your feelings. I've been there, and know it can feel like a hopeless abyss of misery, anger, hurt and frustration. And that doesn't include jealously if he or she has moved on to another relationship. There is hope though, and I'm going to walk you through the EXACT steps I have taken in your situation, and the things that friends and family alike have done to eventually re-unite with their unrequited love and soulmate.

1. Start Making Time for YOU. Ok, you are alone. And not happy. Guess what? Now is the time for you to start working on yourself. Start going out and doing the things you are passionate about, head into the city, reconnect with old friends, fill your life with the things that were NOT there during the relationship. Realize that you are, regardless of time spent with another human being, an INDIVIDUAL with singular needs. Tend and nurture them now, and you'll discover A LOT about yourself in the process.
2. Start Dating! I know, I know…You think this is counter intuitive to getting back with your ex. It's not. Nothing opens up a world of potential and possibility quite like exploring your options. If you feel you have none…you won't. Once you recognize you are a desirable commodity again, the sting of hurt will start to subside, EVEN if the desire to reconcile with your ex does not!
3. Stay Away!  Again, I know your instincts will tell you that when she calls, you better be there to pick up the phone…Or when he stops by, if you aren't there it's going to ruin your chances to get back. Nothing is further from the truth! You need to honestly, genuinely and completely devote yourself to the discipline of independence and detachment if you want to get back together. At least for a while while they grow more and more curious about where you went and what you are up to! Trust me, this works..:-)

Look, at the end of the day, it's not a game. You really SHOULD want to work on whatever it is that helped break you apart in the first place. But these simple steps will make you a stronger, more rounded and MUCH more desirable person. And believe me, people are pretty much the same all over…after a few weeks or months of you doing your thing, you WILL get that familiar phone call or knock on the door. I did and we're still together 4 years later. Any more questions, make sure you ask!

More Good Sex Positions to Impress Her!

In previous articles, we've covered a few different unique sex positions that not only will impress her, but also will stimulate YOU in ways, and parts of your body ( and mind) that you probably have yet to experience. Experimenting with adventurous and ambitious ways to make love to your woman is an exciting way to start the new year, and remember - practice makes perfect, so even if you get this one wrong the first few times, you can ALWAYS try again! Let's look at yet another unique way to make her melt!

The Meditating Position: In this position, the man sits in a lotus like position on the floor (this may be a challenge for the less limber guys out there - so start stretching!) with his hands facing up, forearms resting on his inner thighs as if he was preparing for meditation. The woman sits on the man's lap, her legs wrapped around or outstretched on either side. Her hands can either be in meditative clasp position, or simply go anywhere they'd like..:)

Many people will actually attempt to meditate or have a transpersonal experience with their partner in this position, and say that this is the key to an earth shattering, mind bending experience of both mind and spirit….I can tell you as a newbie mediator myself, this is one activity that makes me want to practice meditating! But even if you aren't interested in tantra, or otherworldly experiences while being intimate with YOUR partner, I will tell you it still feels divine either way!

Want to Feel Sexier in Bed? Be an Irresistible Man Between the Sheets!

In this article we are going to look at how a MAN can feel sexier in bed, even though most of the literature out there only focuses on a woman's desire to be more appealing and hot in those nocturnal hours..:-)

First of all guys, being sexy in mostly a MINDSET. This is not new age bunk, or self help nonsense. It really is true. If you feel sexy, and giving and amorous…your partner is going to FEEL the heat of your energy. A sexy man is not the one with the hottest hard body (although a great bod never hurts!) it's how to USE your natural talents and physical attributes that turns us on.

Want to be SUPER sexy between the sheets? Give your woman a nice, long massage….Set the stage for a little romance ahead of time - candles, great music and killer cool sheets are a HUGE turn on for the women that I know! And hey - if YOU smell great too, that is an enormous turn on, too!

Do you talk to your girl in those otherwise, long, hot quiet moments? Now this is sexy! Just like guys love a woman who is expressive, so to do we….If you can make her FEEL your passion with some hot pillow talk….all the better, too!

And of course there is lots more…But if you can just put these simple things together in a hot and loving package, well - you WILL be sexier in bed - and out! But trust me, she's going to want to start spending more time in, I promise..;-)

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